Popeye

We've scaled back quite a bit on Christmas over the past few years and I, honestly, don't get that much -- part of that is my own problem in being tough to buy for. But this year, I received a stocking stuffer that probably cost about 75 cents that was my favorite present.

It is not uncommon for my brother & I to put goofy things in each others stockings.... This year I contributed mashed up hot dog buns, bread, macaroni, and butt paste in peoples stockings (there actually is such a thing as "butt paste" and it makes a great stocking stuffer). So I was not surprised to see a can of spinach in my stocking - I assumed it was related to the fact that we were forced to eat spinach as a kid which absolutely grossed me out.

However, as my brother explained it, my wife and I were both touched. My brother realizes that I am on the verge of a "Popeye" moment. These are the moments I've blogged about before where people reach the point of "That's all I can stands and I can stands no more" and then act on it. It's no secret that there are some social justice issues burning in me, that are holy discontents, that are bubbling into popeye moments. My bro is expected 2008 to be a year where I "eats my spinach" because I reach a point of seeing all that I can stand in certain areas.

The thoughtfulness of this gift meant a lot to me; it encouraged my spirit more than he or anyone else will ever know. Stay tuned! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

The long defeat

The Long Defeat is a phrase denoting an apparently impossible but noble battle. The phrase was used by J. R. R. Tolkien in The Lord of the Rings to refer to the long struggle against the evil forces of Sauron. Specifically, Lady Galadriel, recollecting her summoning of the White Council and the ensuing long struggle, says to the hobbit Frodo, "Through the ages of the world we have fought the long defeat." Tolkien viewed all of human history since the fall of man to be a long defeat, but with an expectation for a final victory over evil.

Dr. Paul Farmer has worked for years among the poorest of the poor in Haiti. In Tracy Kidder’s biography of Farmer’s life, Mountains Beyond Mountains, Kidder tells of a time when they took a daylong hike to check in on a patient. Walking together, Kidder asks about the cost- and time-effectiveness of actions like this–Farmer, one of the most talented doctors in the nation, taking a whole day to visit one patient himself. Farmer stops walking and turns to Kidder. “I have fought my whole life a long defeat … We want to be on the winning team, but at the risk of turning our backs on the losers, no, it’s not worth it. So I fight the long defeat.”

In light of Farmer’s work and life, “the long defeat” is not a pessimistic outlook, but rather a challenge to our culture’s success-driven worldview. The difference between a cost-effective business model and the long defeat is that the conviction lies at the heart of the action, not the success of the action itself. Farmer is basically saying that we can’t just fight when we think we will win. There are many losing battles worth investing in, simply because winning is not the point.

Luke Skywalker and his ragamuffin team of Jedis fight the Dark Side, not because they think will win, but because not to fight is to give in to darkness.

The above words were all plagiarized from articles I found on the web as I have been searching for language to describe my burning inside. There are days (quite often these days) when I feel like I have been handed the ring and the burden of responsibility that comes with it... but I like the shire; I like being able to pay my bills; I like not seeing all there is to see in the way of human suffering and exploitation; I like to have Christmas gatherings with treats and presents without the concern of what is happening in Malawi or the Phillipines or wherever. Wait, I don't like the shire... I love the shire. At that is the crux of the issue. The Bible teaches us that we will serve whatever we love and that we cannot serve two masters. If I love the shire more than the responsibility of the ring, then I will serve the shire and not fulfill my burden. But serving the burden is a daunting task. What shall I do? My decisions do not just impact me - they could have tremendous impact on my family and friends; but what impact does my decision have on the "others" in society?

Questions need to be asked. What truly is the "ring" I've been given? What truly is the task/responsibility/burden that comes with the ring?

There are many battles to be fought and not all with accompanying glory. But... the battle is raging whether we like it or not; and troops are needed. It seems many of the battles will end in defeat... but does that mean we do not fight them? This is the essence of the long defeat.

Sabattical

OK, so I've been on a little sabattical with posting crawling to about 1/week. This past weekend I was the lead in 3 performances of our Christmas dramusical which can be exhausting when you factor in practices, etc. It really was a blast but left me tired as I spent some afternoon time with the family watching the Vikings kick some 49er butt. Could this team really make the playoffs?

I have so much passion building up inside of and at some point you are going to see it come flying through in these blogs. For now, I've got too much going on with just finishing final assignments for my last MBA class and preparing for the residency this coming weekend... along with 3 more performances this coming Sunday.

But you just wait... when I come out of the shoot with some of the stuff I've been hinting at, you are going to feel like a gust of wind just knocked you on your can. Basically, I am tired of seeing the "unacceptable social injustices" continue to take place.... it is ridiculous that anyone go hungry or sleep outside in the cold. There, that's your teaser..... I promise, more to come!

Unacceptable Issues

I've been talking with the editor of a local paper about the potential of becoming a regular contributing writer. We talked about what that could look like and where the topics may arise.

One thing I have been growing increasingly passionate about are those things in our society that are absolutely unacceptable. I'm talking about things like hunger, poverty, and homelessness. There are issues that anger me such as child prostitution, slavery, etc, but these are very complex issues to solve. There is no reason why anyone should be going days without food or living weeks without homes..... there is more than enough food in the world to feed everyone (the problem is not food production, but food distribution) and there is enough capacity to build homes and shelters that people should not be spending a Minnesota winter on the sidewalks. These are unacceptable to me and I'm starting to feel like Popeye.... "That's alls I can stand I can't stands no more."

Perhaps my role for such a time is this is to open the eyes of others, create a groundswell of anger and demand for change, and then help strategize solutions. Perhaps my role is to start editorializing about it on a local level and see what happens. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....

The Leadership Call

I've been teaching (and learning) an adult Sunday School class at church and lately the content has been largely intersecting with my journey of analysis of my personal gift of leadership. True leadership has the tendency of being very, very lonely at times - this is not the case under the paradigm where "everyone is a leader", but it is a reality for those called into leadership roles. The Old Testatment recounts the story of the nation of Israel including the exodus of the people from slavery in Egypt into the wilderness and ultimately into the land they were promised. Although being delivered from slavery through miraculous things (passover, plagues, Red Sea), as time passed and things became uncomfortable, the people would start complaining and "grumbling" against Moses. Then God (through Moses) would meet the need of the people (water, food, etc) and the people would be content; but only for a time and they would start grumbling again.

As I reflected on the story from both a faith and a leadership perspective, I am reminded of the harsh reality of leadership. Part of this story confirms what I feel from time to time and I find comfort in knowing that I have shared in some of Moses troubles. But part of the story also causes me to look for affirmation of the leadership gift in me, but also make sure I know what I can lean on when the fires and loneliness of leadership hits.

The Funnel

Have you ever gone to the Science Museum or somewhere where they have a huge funnel where you drop a coin at the top and it goes around the giant funnel but as gravity sets in it progresses toward the narrow part of the funnel and gets faster and faster until it finally drops through the hole?

This is the new mental picture I have for my life. In my quest for my sweet spot, I'm finding my funnel starting to get faster.... corporate America? church work? teaching? writing? learning? As much as there is going on now, I do believe some of these will be forced to be removed as the funnel speeds up ultimately dropping my focus through the funnel and into the bucket where it belongs. I often wonder if this is a self-created funnel or if this is a God-created funnel for the sake of helping me see where to place my focus.

This is why I need to write a book! I need to document my journey to help others I know are going through this same struggle. I think I need to take a week off, go to a rustic cabin, and start plunking keys.

Fish Envy

The previous post was intended to go on my Executive Pastor blog, not my personal blog... none-the-less any thoughts are welcomed from the general public.

What I wanted to share here was the depression that befell me Saturday when I put the boat away for the year. I borrowed my father-in-laws boat this summer (but really not until late June) so I fished more than I ever have... it was great, but next year I'll get it in May and really do some damage. It was sad to put it away for the year, even though it is November.

What made it worse is opening the Cambridge Star and seeing a picture of the guy who just caught a 52 pound muskie on Mille Lacs - I literally wanted to throw up I was so jealous! OK, we just covered the 10 commandments in my class on Sunday, but this coveting proved to me that I still fall far short. Should I have coveted that fish? No. Did I? Oh, yeah... big time! My goal for fishing remains to catch a northern or muskie over 40 inches... like Cubs fans always say, "There's always next year!"

What-if-a-cation?

We had a great class yesterday at church where we discussed the 10 commandments that God gave to the nation of Israel through Moses. We didn't even talk about the 10 specifically as we focused on the need for the law... why did/does God give us "laws"? Why do we have laws in our culture? Is God punishing us or protecting us? Does this create captivity or freedom? If the law defines our sin, then what is the importance of recognizing that we are sinners? How does recognizing our sin help us understand the nature of God?... or what Jesus did for us?

Obviously, there was some riveting conversation. Through it all, we talked about how God "consecrated" Moses, and then Aaron, setting them apart for meeting with God on Mt. Sinai. We talked about what consecration means which led to wondering what the difference was between consecration and sanctification. Is consecration a state of being set apart whereas sanctification is the process of being consecrated? Are they tied that tightly together? Are they much different?

I took it upon myself to "ask the experts" and committed to bringing some insight back to the class next Sunday. I will also ask the experts to post their comments on this blog as well. If you have thoughts on this, please share with the rest of us.

"Success"

We have been having a great discussion at our book club on Henry Cloud's "Integrity" - see leadrshipdiscussiongroup.blogspot.com. This discussion has led me more and more to be annoyed when people write books on success without first acknowledging that we must have our own definition of success (or at least defining specifically what the author means by "success"). Even within that, I think success is an internal and individual issue.... success in business, even success as CEO, is going to mean different things for different people so how can we sit back and judge someone else's success when we don't know what their objectives are?

We discussed the disparity between Bill Belicheck and Tony Dungee and thought it would be a great case study to consider what each of them considers success and see how they are doing relative to that. Based on the commonly held understanding of success as NFL coaches, they are both highly successful. I laid out the challenge to each group member to define what success is for them and then do an honest assessment of where their life is heading relative to that definition.... I have done this to some degree, but in light of this new discussion I want to do it more deeply... it will also serve to help us solidify what we are doing in life.

I believe that success is linked to purpose.... that success is a measure to which a person lived out their purpose (which may be a CEO, an NFL coach, a teacher, a housewife, someone who brings smiles to others, a good listener, etc). I recently wrote a comment on a bulletin board for a 29 year old gal I knew that died of cancer. A portion of this read, "... she made the most of the time and energy she was given. Well done!" Was she successful? Not by common definition - but she lived life to the full and left her piece of the world better than when she entered.... I believe she was highly successful.

Heart & Soul

Normally I wouldn't submit basically the same posting on my two blogs, but this one has been at the forefront of my mind since Sunday so I wanted to share it here also....

Our pastor taught on Sunday about Jonathan and his armor bearer. The nation of Israel was basically hopeless against the Philistine army with only a couple of swords and far less people. But Jonathan was not going to sit back and be destroyed so he decided to sneak up the side of the mountain to where the mountain pass was being guarded with Philistine soldiers. It seemed like a death wish, but he felt God was leading him to do this. He presented his plan to his armor bearer who boldly stated that no matter what Jonathan did, he would be with him "heart and soul." No matter what the situation; no matter what the odds. He was passionately sold out to Jonathan and his mission.

What are we sold out to? God calls us to live lives that are passionately sold out to Him... to understand that the purposes God created us for included being "crucified with Christ" so that it is no longer us living, but Christ living through us. What then, does it mean, to have Christ living through us? Well, how did Christ teach us to live? It is better to love than hate; to forgive than hold bitterness; to help than to walk away --- I believe Christ calls us to a radically inclusive kind of love. When we live our lives walking in love (not mushy gooshy words over action, but the kind of love that transforms lives) then we are showing that we are with God "heart and soul."

"Do all that you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul." - 1 Samuel 14:7

Cause & Effect

I had this dream Sunday night that I robbed a bank because I needed some cash and then as I was driving a way I noticed someone taping me with a video camera so I ran them over with my car. This was odd. Certainly the transition from corporate work to church work creates its financial challenges, but I hadn't seriously considered the potential of robbing a bank. I also don't feel that running someone down in my car would be a WWJD moment.

But this isn't the strangest part. In my dream I went to work the next day as if nothing happened and the police came and arrested me and I was shocked. But I wasn't shocked because they figured out it was me... I was shocked because what I had done was wrong. In the dream, I was confused that I had done something wrong. I knew I had robbed the bank and ran someone over, but for some reason I felt that was not wrong.

I pondered this throughout the day yesterday and wondered if the application for my life is around how many times I perhaps do something "wrong" and either don't even notice it or brush it off when, in fact, there are consequences. I wonder if the call I hadn't gotten around to making has more ramifications than I think. I wonder about gossip; I wonder about eating poorly; I wonder about all the things in my life that aren't what they should be and I wonder if in some way I'm getting "arrested" either physically, relationally, or spiritually because of them.

This sounds like a lot of pressure and perhaps its overstated, but it's caused me to re-think cause and effect a titch.

Management

I can tell when I'm too 'busy'... when I feel like I don't have the time or subject-matter to blog every day. I'm not putting myself it situations where something can happen.

However, today I want to record my thoughts on how it seems like so much of success or failure (by whatever definitions you wish to use) comes down to management. No matter how skilled, talented, etc, you are, if you can't manage that in a meaningful way, trust erodes and when trust erodes, character takes a hit and you lose respect. I'm seeing this in so many facets of my life from discussions with church staff, Thrivent colleagues, reading, talking with a church planter, experience with my MBA program, etc.

Perhaps it depends on how you define "management" and perhaps it just depends on each person's need for management. I place a high value on things being "run well" which means that I'm going to do things like write blogs about how important that is.... I concede that there may be people that don't have the same value on this attribute and therefore don't see it as key to anything. But, with that background, I can't think of anything that has been successful that has not involved quality management - that could be starting a new church, running a ministry, having a good devotional/prayer life, putting on a Christmas drama, having a strong family or marriage, personal budgeting, leading others, etc. I look at the Biblical examples of management including Jesus with his 3, 12, 70 plan and his Jerusalem/Judea/Samaria/Utter Ends plan. I think of Jethro helping Moses organize for effectiveness. I look at the detailed plans God provided and required management needed to build the ark (Noah), rebuild the walls (Nehemiah), or build the ark of the covenant (Levites). I look at the Apostle Paul and his plan to send out people to start churches, his voyages, his letters, his leadership development of others, etc and the management that took.

I believe that we are to live life as spirit-led believers, but I also believe that God is a God of order and not chaos. Management, however you define it, is important in carrying out the work that God has purposed each of us to do. A church-planter friend of mine calls it "chaordic" -- ordered chaos. Perhaps that is a better term...

Soccer = Mentor?

Well, I finally have a decent analogy to describe how mentoring can be effective. As many of you know, I am a huge believer in effective mentoring to help navigate the white waters and, for that matter, even the still waters of life, love, vocation, family, relationships, development, etc. When people ask me about my mentor and the value it adds to my life, I'm able to give a decent answer, but sometimes its hard to really put my finger on the value.

Last night I was playing soccer with my 3 kids. We played a round robin tournament where we played 3 games with each game being a different kid with me versus the other two. They each consider themselves pretty fancy soccer players but, at the end of the day, my team won all 3 matches. Even my 8 year-old daughter and I took down the 11-year old boys. They each have more endurance than my 37 years can handle; they are much quicker than my steel-plated & screwed legs can handle; they can at least challenge me in a foot race. However, they don't have the wisdom I bring and the ability to strategically break down a defense, appropriately position myself, know when to pass or shoot, know when to run at the person with the ball and when to stay back, etc.

This is what my mentors are to me. As I scurry around the soccer field getting worn out and not really being that effective or at least confused on the next step, they offer the voice of reason, wisdom, & strategy.... they are the coach that helps me understand when to just hold the ball and examing the defense, when to run with all my might and when to hold back, when it's the right time to shoot and the right time to pass off. But more than my coach, I find that my mentor becomes my teammate which joins me in the game and allows me to see first hand how the game can be more effectively played with patience, wisdom, and insight -- hear this clearly: It's no less passionate, but it's passion harnessed & focused toward effectiveness.

I wonder if this makes sense to anyone, but it seemed logical at the time! Perhaps I got hit in the head with the soccer ball too many times....

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper

Hang in there loyal readers... last week was a tough week for me on a lot of fronts (funerals, school, work, etc) and I feel like I've not had time to really enjoy life to the extent where interesting thoughts or observations fill my mind. I did do a blog entry on my weekly site, stevefredlundxp.blogspot.com if you are interested... otherwise I'm hoping for interesting things to write in the days ahead as we transition into a bit more sanity. Later...

Spurred

There were a lot of similarities with the two funerals in three days that were just finished. Both people died from cancer. Both families had time to grieve before death actually occurred. Both had incredibly close relationships with family & friends. And both lived the kind of life that makes me want to be a better man.

Dan Crocker's life and legacy spur me on to be generous with my time, to give freely, to love deeply, and to live life without regret.

Adina Schminkey's life and legacy spur me on to be courageous, to live life large and to not be identified by what has happened to me, but by who my true identity is.

Dan and Adina have both challenged me to be a better man. They both lived lives that inspire me and others. They both have spurred me on to love and good deeds. When my earthly time comes to an end, I would be honored to have such a legacy of either of these two heroes.

Death

This week I will be attending two funerals... both a result of cancer. First, on Tuesday, the father of a close friend & co-worker, who succumbed after about a year battling bone cancer. Second, on Thursday, a friend who we used to attend church with who had been battling cancer for about 5 years. In each case, they are way too young for us to make any sense of it. I think Dan is early 60s and Adina is early 30s.

I won't get into a deep theological discussion on death. What I will say, however, is that we don't know what the day is going to hold. Some days, weeks, months, and even years are going to be tougher than others - this is a tough emotional week.

Interestingly, during our book discussion group last week, we chatted about how we could approach empathizing with someone when we have not gone through their situation. What do we provide, when we don't truly understand what someone is going through. I've been through a decent amount in my life, but I've never had to bury a parent, a sister, or a child. We have been learning that we build relationships through connecting and that connecting happens through putting yourself into the other person's reality (subject to boundaries). The question becomes, "how can I enter their reality when their reality is something I haven't experienced and is tough for me to imagine?"

Character

Whoa, I've been surrounded by discussions about character. I've talked about our discussion of the Henry Cloud book on "Integrity" which is about integrity of character. Tonight I was reading a copy of BGC World and there was a discussion on character that also talked about the meaning of the word integrity in the context of character.

However, it was a humerous (to me) comment about character that got me blogging about this tonight. I was watching part of the Gopher football game yesterday and found myself both amused and frustrated. As it turns out, now that there are about 8,000,000 football games on in a given weekend, the quality of the announcers drops... especially when the game involves teams with a grand total of 1 big ten win between them. Anyway, the Gophers scored a touchdown on what was really a great catch. In describing the replay, the announcer said, and I quote, "Character is what you are when no one is watching and Jones showed character on that catch."

I was a bit confused because he must have forgotten there were people in the stadium and also that he was broadcasting to a TV audience -- now, admittedly, I may have been the only one watching a Minnesota / Northwestern football game, but still.... there were more people watching than "no one." I also find it funny that someone's athletic ability implies that they have character (I think there have been one or two examples where the two are not necessarily related).

I realize that I'm tired when things like this seem as funny as this one does to me... perhaps it is my warped sense of humor. I was sitting in my recliner, working on my laptop, all by myself, and I literally said, outloud, "Did he really say that?".

"Character is what you are when no one is watching and Jones showed character on that catch."

HIV/AIDS

Today I will be participating in the Transforming Church Initiative presented by the Bethel University seminary. For the past couple of years I have had a pull to get into the global battle against HIV/AIDS. We have done some things personally, but how does a 3-year old church with limited resources get into the battle? I am excited & nervous about attending this all-day seminar.

I'm excited about making connections with others of the same heart and learning about possibilities for the New Hope Community Church family to take its place in the battle.

I'm nervous that I'm going to leave there with the same Holy discontent I have felt before around this issue. That I won't be able to eat or sleep or whatever knowing that people are dying in the world and we are not in the battle to save them.

I know in my head that each person and organization is called to fulfill a specific purpose which is not to participate in every "cause." Could it be, however, that there are some "causes" that every person, church, business, and community are required to get involved in?

I'm sure it will be a day of high emotion; it would be easier to close my eyes and not look. I believe, however, that God is calling me to open my eyes wide and take a deep look - a look that not only raises awareness, but causes action - and not only action, but action that has impact. I don't want to be in the battle to say, "Look, I'm in the battle"... I want to be in the battle to make an impact toward victory.

It will be a good day. I'll be going right from there to play Texas Hold 'em with college buddies... it will be an interesting transition I do believe.

Connections

Do you ever feel like you share in people's experiences? Lately I've felt like I share a lot more in the experiences of friend's experiences more than I ever have. There are situations going on right now with different friends including the deteriorating health of a parent, three different adoption situations, and the stepping out to take a new job in a new city. In each of these cases, I talk to them and just feel the emotion on more than just an, "Oh, I'm sorry" or "How exciting" type of basis. I feel I am sad with them and rejoicing with them. I realize there needs to be boundaries in recognizing that their experience is not my experience, but I love the fact that the connections are there to the point that I am sharing with them - that we are doing life together.

I refer to community a lot in my blogs and daily conversations, but I think this is what true community is... doing life together to the point where one person's experiences, good or bad, are felt (not just recognized) by others.

"Old" age

I'm really starting to feel old. I don't feel physically old, but there are other signs that have really appeared.

For the past 3-4 years, I have been started being called "sir" a lot. It really drove me nuts at first but now I'm getting used to it. Those who know me are aware that I'm not worthy of a "sir" greeting, but there must be something about me that is triggering that greeting from others (could it be gray hairs?).

Yesterday I visited a friend in the hospital who had a knee replacement and I have another friend who is having one replaced today. Interestingly, my step-Dad just had both replaced over the past year. Does it mean something that people I consider friends are having knees replaced?

I hang around (and pursue relationships with) older people; I love to listen to them talk, hear their wisdom, etc. Part of this is the jobs I have and have had, but part of this is I think I'm drawn to them because I, too, am getting old.

I think it is funny to try to be "hip." If I really were hip, it wouldn't be funny and I wouldn't have to try. The fact that I have to try and I find it funny (as do my other old friends) tells me that I am old. I wonder what truly hip people think of my attempts.... probably, "what a funny old man!"

This all came to a head on Sunday when someone came up to my friend (SN) and I looking for prayer for something they were going through in their life. This person turned to my friend, who is exactly the same age, and said, "No offense, but I'd rather talk to someone older" and then turned to me. Up until this point I thought everyone my age had become "old" but I was forced to draw the conclusion that I appear to be aging faster than others -- or is SN just aging slower?

I think appearing older than I am has it's advantages. My concern is that if people think I'm 45-50 when I'm 37, how old will they think I am when I am 50. Perhaps I will be able to get seniors discounts in my 40's -- I guess that's good news!

Motion detectors

So, last night I'm in my MBA class and the back set of lights kept shutting off; aparently the motion detector wasn't detecting any motion. All of the learners in the back of the room would start flailing their arms and rocking back & forth to get them to turn back on. After 5-10 seconds, the lights would turn back on. Then 2-3 minutes later the cycle would repeat. It was hilarious - I had the giggles the entire night from it.

I feel this way sometimes when I parent. I flail my arms and make all kinds of contorted moves to get my kids lights to turn on and when they do I'm excited. But a little time goes by and the lights go back off and I need to start flailing again.

I think God is this way with me. He flails His arms to get my attention and when I detect the motion, the lights go on and I get some revelation about God, life, me, etc. However, in my human-ness, the lights go back off after a little while when I don't detect any motion. God probably gets frustrated and starts flailing His arms again only to repect the cycle. My job as a Christ-follower is to make sure that my detector is set to the appropriate level to detect the motion of God; I want to live in a place where the lights are always on and God doesn't need to keep flailing His arms.

Diggin' Deeper

Yesterday I spoke at church and part of the talk involved the much quoted verse, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective" from James 5:16. Now I understand that not all of you reading this pray, but hang in there - my point isn't about prayer. Anyway, people that do pray obviously want those prayers to be powerful and effective, but the author says we need to be "righteous" in order to achieve that. Based on our own preconceived ideas of what "righteous" means, we might immediately conclude that we are not righteous and therefore there is no point in praying because there will be no power or effectiveness. However, upon digging deeper, we find that the original greek word for this actually means "repentant sinner." We know that we are all sinners, every single one of us; but if we repent of our sin (admit it, apologize, and try to change), then we are considered "righteous" and our prayers are powerful and effective. How much more inclusive is this powerful prayer when we think about being a repentant sinner versus righteous.

My point is that there is great value in digging deeper into many issues of life. Obviously if we dig really deep in every issue, we will suffer from analysis paralysis, but if we just take everything at a surface level or make big assumptions on things, we will not be exposed to the real truth.

I'm sure we can all think of a number of examples of this. Consider personal relationships - when someone acts a certain way I might conclude one thing based on my experiences and preconceived ideas, but by digging deeper find it was an entirely different set of causes. Consider questioning leadership - again, digging deeper reveals information and truth that, if left to a surface reaction, would have been missed leading to an inappropriate conclusion.

We all know people that probably dig too deep on certain things (guilty), but it is important to seek the ultimate truth and not be satisfied with what appears to be truth on the surface.

Authenticity

I lead a weekly discussion group at work and we are going through henry Cloud's book, "Integrity: the courage to meet the demands of reality.". During the lunch discussion yesterday, we talked about leadership, success, etc and their relationship to integrity, character, values, etc. The discussion led to the current "big thing" in leadership... Authenticity. Today's leader needs to be authentic. We didn't talk about it, but I believe being authentic requires a humble spirit and the willingness to be transparent.

I took an intentional step toward this on Wednesday night. I finished the initial draft of a script for a sermon I am giving Sunday. Then I did something I had never done before - partly because I had never had the lead time, but mostly out of fear and pride. I submitted my script to my wife and 3 pastors I know very well. I asked them to tear it apart (if they have time) and give any insights, recommendations, areas of confusion, etc. This can be humbling, but the feedback I have already received is going to make the message significantly more transformational.

Now these are not people I "lead" but integrity requires an integrated, whole, consistent life. By intentionally being transparent and humble through this, my hope is that it leads to greater overall authenticity.

Of course, I was proud of the fact I was humble, so there ya go...

Stick in the eye

Sorry I missed yesterday.... got away from me.

Last evening I was playing soccer with my two boys and the ball went into the woods (which it does basically every time someone shoots and misses the net). My eldest son (by 20 minutes) went in to retrieve and came jumping out a few seconds later holding his eye and yelling. I assumed he was stung by a bee based on his reaction. After I got him to calm down, I was able to look at he had a deep scratch on the outside of his eyelid and also looked like something in his eye. We got inside and were able to get the blood off and start rinsing with water. After a while we could tell what we were dealing with and there was nothing serious involved. His eye is a bit puffy with a deep scratch and we were able to work dirt/bark/etc out of the eye.

This is not the first time he has taken a stick in the eye. Last year it was a bit scarier as he actually scratched his eyeball with a stick.... his eye was bleeding and we actually took him in for that one. I remember telling him that now he could actually speak as an expert if someone said to him, "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye." (My gift of empathy, remember).

I told him last night that I find it interesting that he runs into sticks/twigs/branches in his eye. You would think if something hits you in the eye, you would have seen it coming (again, empathy).

I found a paralle to how I continue to run through the woods of leadership and take sticks in the eye... you would think I would see some things coming, but either I have a blind spot, I'm just not paying attention, or someone is standing off to the side swinging a stick at me. It's not as dramatic as that might sound and its not just about leadership... I think in life we all run into things that we should have seen coming (results of poor decisions, etc). Hopefully the implications of these things are better than a sharp stick in the eye.

Champaign

I was watching some ESPN highlights tonight and they were showing teams celebrating with dancing, hollering, jumping around, and dumping champaign on each others heads. I don't remember there being such extreme celebrations for simply making the playoffs -- I remember that as the celebration for winning the world series. Now, don't get me wrong, having a good year that results in making the playoffs is a real accomplishment, but worthy of a champaign bash? I think not. I think there are about 30 baseball teams and 8 make the playoffs... that means that about 1 out of every 4 teams makes the playoffs. That doesn't seem champaign worthy to me.

I'm not sure if the fact that they celebrate to this extent is really a bad thing or if this really is my issue. Over the past several years, I've learned more and more the importance of taking time to celebrate victories along the way. However, my bent is to just move on to the next thing.

Perhaps part of my interest in the issue is that I always get annoyed when I see individual players on a team, especially football, go crazy when they make an individual play. For example, consider a team defense of 11 players who each do their job and eventually someone sacks the quarterback.... often that player goes into some kind of individual dance or even runs away from his fellow teammates who have gathered to celebrate - they run away to give themself more space to do their individual dance. That bothers me. What's even worse is that I see these celebrations from people on teams who are losing by 3 touchdowns in the fourth quarter. It doesn't bother me if, in this situation, people get somewhat excited - but to act like the superbowl was just won, seems goofy to me.

I really am not judging these teams or individuals, I'm just adding this to my ongoing thoughts about celebration. I personally don't celebrate meeting expectations I have of myself or others; I recognize it, but don't celebrate it. What I celebrate is victory beyond expectations.

Perhaps I just want to understand more the motivations behind other people's celebrations to give me insight into my own, seemingly minority, feelings.

Holcomb on leadership

So, I'm watching the Vikings lose to the Packers today and I was engrossed as I watched the antics of the Vikings quarterback - some guy named Kelly Holcomb. I'm not sure where he came from or how he ended up on our team; I do know he is not the normal quarterback (I think the other guy is hurt). Anyway, one time the Vikings completed a pass but there was a holding penalty on one of our guys. The camera zoomed in pretty tight on Holcomb as he looked to the coaches on the sideline, indicated it was a penalty on the Vikes, and then rolled his eyes.

Every leadership bone in my body shuddered.

Later in the game, a pass he threw was dropped by one of the Viking receivers. He lifted his arms up in disgust - not like someone thinking, "Oh, dang that was close" but more like "Of course... do I need to throw it and catch it."

Again, every leadership bone in my body shuddered.

My point is not to rip on Holcomb, but it solidified for me the impact our body language and initial reactions as leaders can have on those around us. I don't think I'm an eye-roller or a hand-thrower-upper, but I do wonder how many times my reaction to things has driven people away from me.

One thing I am learning about leadership is that I make decision with a lot more information than I am often at liberty to share when I am communicating the decision. This gap is very difficult to manage and I am looking forward to growing in how to handle it. Because of this gap, the reaction to some of my decisions, leadership style, and even motives gets challenged. The question is not "if" these things will be challenged, but when and how often. My issue becomes how I will react when my leadership is challenged. Will I do the eye roll or will I connect with the person to make sure I understand their concern? Will I throw my arms up in disgust or will I get back on the field and make another decision (throw another pass)?

My hunch is that people will remember my reaction in certain situations longer than they will remember most decisions. I also hope, then, that their memories are salted with Grace.

Speed Walkin'

I am a slow walker. Really, I am a saunter-er. My philosophy on walking is the same as my philosophy on showering.... "Dude, where's the fire?" Certainly I am able to walk or shower fast if the situation requires, but left to my own devices, the pace is quite snail-ish. Sometimes I wonder why I am snailish in this area given my pace to life is quite hectic... I mean, I take on a lot of responsibility and get a lot accomplished - you would think my Type A-ness would include how I walk.

I do know several drivers, but there is only one other person I know really well that has the same Type A-ness in life as myself. This is my pastor/boss, Bill. His desire to see lives changed and communities transformed absolutely drives him and he takes on a lot of responsibility.

But here's the sticky wicket. Bill is the opposite of a saunter-er (if you know Bill, you are now smiling). He does nothing slow. I bet he walks around his house in his jammies as if he is an Olympic speed walker. I've walked with him several times, including walking from the church office to go to lunch or other functions. He takes off out of the shoot like he's at the Kentucky Derby and he is just gone... after 10 seconds, if he is still in shouting distance, I yell "Dude, where's the fire?" One time last summer we were walking to a function and I was trying to keep up, but I was getting winded, my knees started cracking, and I start to get a good sweat bead on. Even so, he was about 3-4 strides ahead of me and I just told him, "Bill, this is as fast as I'm walking... you can go on ahead and I'll meet you there." True story. He slowed down marginally - compromise I guess.

Now, granted, he is in shape and I'm not. There is a reason he is running a marathon next week and I'm staying back to preach. However, even in those days when I was in shape, I was still a saunter-er. I am still amazed at how diverse of a people we are.

So, here's the takeaway (boy this is a stretch): When you come across people walking slow on the sidewalks of Cambridge or in the skyways of Minneapolis or wherever you are, don't jump to the conclusion that they are lazy. Perhaps they just suffer from a previously unidentified disease known as saunteritis.

Commuting

Does anyone else get frustrated when there is a long line of traffic where lanes are converging and someone else goes as far as they can in the lane that is closing only to sneak (or force) their way in at the end? Oh, be honest.

This situation happens more often now with my path to Thrivent because of the 35W situation. And this late-merging frustrates me too, but I'm not sure why. Is it because it makes the person appear pretty arrogant and selfish and we all struggle with arrogant, self-centered people? Is it because it's not fair to those of us who are waiting patiently in line? Is it because of the implication that their time is more valuable than ours? I've struggled with this and I'm not sure why it is frustrating.

I don't get overly angry and I do try to just have grace for the person because I don't know what they are going through or why they are in a hurry.... perhaps their time is more valuable than mine. I think my biggest issue is not knowing why it bothers me... it really bothers me that I don't know why I'm bothered. If someone cuts it, it will result in about a 3 second difference in when I arrive somewhere... so even if 20 people do it, we are talking about one minute of difference. That is not enough of an impact to care about; so what is my core issue?

I don't have answers, just questions. But I do know that understanding the root cause could then lead to knowing how to internally deal with it. I don't suffer from road rage, but I don't like the fact that I'm even annoyed... I want to not care about it or waste any energy thinking (or blogging) about it again!

Wall of Fame

The most productive thing I think I've ever done to help me assess my leadership, myself, and my direction was to find a mentor. For years I have tried to find the right mentor - I've built ongoing relationships with people inside my corporate world, inside my churches, with other church leaders, etc. In each of these cases there was initial excitement which ultimately waned and those relationships are just people I know now. I don't think they are "bad" mentors and I don't think I am a "bad" mentee, but what I've learned is there has to be a fit.

In my case, I need someone who is not going to pat me on the back, but (in love) is going to ask me the tough questions. I also need someone with experiences, interests, strengths, and passions that are similar enough to mine so we can understand each other. I also need someone who does not need me - as weird as that sounds... my mentor has to be about speaking wisdom, insight, and truth into my life rather than needing me to fulfill one of his needs. I need someone who is able and willing to invest time into my development and growth. I need someone who makes me feel like I have what it takes while at the same time helping me smooth out the rough spots and clarify my vision.

After about 14 years of actively seeking this out, I truly believe I have found this person. We have been meeting together about every 6 weeks since January. In these past 9 months I have received tremendous insight into my leadership, potential, career, family, faith, etc, simply by having a mentor that knows what questions to ask and doesn't let me off the hook when I try to avoid answers. Based on the past 9 months and the impact he has had on my life, I stepped out and made a sort of crazy request of him. I asked him to provide me with a picture of him and to sign it for the Wall of Fame I am starting. The purpose is basically two-fold: a) To honor him as someone positively impacting my life and future, and b) To help me remember to pray that God would give him wisdom when we meet so that he can be used to help me live up to my full potential. I've heard years ago of someone else doing this, but really never had anyone to put on the wall. The wall is reserved for a very limited number of people - there are a ton of people who positively impact my life, but this is the Wall of Fame!

Until this mentor relationship, my Pastor is the only one who has a spot on the wall reserved for him - which is why I didn't start a "wall." I've had several pastors in the past, but the relationship I now have with my pastor goes far beyond someone telling me stories from the Bible. The respect I have for this man as both a visionary, leader, friend, boss, colleague, community advocate, and man of God far surpass anything I have ever experienced before. His willingness to pour into my life while believing in what I have been called to do and also while being willing to speak truth into my life has been tremendous.

At the end of the day, these two men are people I point to as role models. More than that, they make me want to be a better man. That is why they will be on my newly constructed "Wall of Fame."

Me? a Weird-o?

I've had quite the morning with meetings early morning through early afternoon and just now getting an opportunity to blog something funny that happened to me yesterday that both makes me laugh and become self-conscious.

I was working at the church which means, for Mondays, I have lunch with either my wife or one of my kids. I had lunch with my just-turned 8-year old daughter. When she has a visitor, she gets to sit with that visitor at the "special table" along with one of her friends. She chose a fellow-2nd grader we shall call "CP." We had a fun lunch of laughing and drawing; I wrote their names in shadow letters (which I am quite famous for). As it was winding down I dismissed myself and went back to work.

To be funny, last night I said to my daughter, "Hey, I heard you had lunch today with some weird-o." I fully expected her to say something like, "Daa-aad, I had lunch with you - silly." Wanna know what she immediately responded with? "That's what CP said!". I did not see that coming... I was stunned; my beautiful bride started laughing so hard I thought we'd have to do a urine clean-up on the kitchen floor. I was absolutely blind-sided... I thought I had been quite reserved and well-behaved (relative for me, of course), but apparently not.

I'm still not sure today if I should laugh or cry.... but I guess I am at least consistent because I think that is the perception of me in my other worlds. If nothing else, I have integrity of weird-o-ness.

Chaos

Imagine if you will for a moment a husband and wife who, in the midst of life's harriedness, created a Saturday afternoon that was utter chaos.

Let your imagination drift with me for a moment.... imagine a birthday party for an 8-year old with 5 other girls about that age; this party would be filled with balloons and games and painting... this party would occur in the afternoon and scheduled to end at 4:00 with parent pickups. Crazy? - oh yes, already crazy.

Now imagine that another party for this couple's two 11-year old sons complete with 4 other kids about that same age; this party would be filled with soccer and game cube and campfires and ghosts in the graveyard.... this party would be scheduled to start at 4:00 and continue on into a sleepover not ending until the next morning. Insane? - oh yes, bordering on clinical.

Finally, consider the father of this family, who is generally looked to as the source and major contributor to game playing as indicated above. Imagine that he is going through graduate school and has scheduled an on-line conference call to go through decision-making with his team as they consider how to develop, produce, market, and strategize against the competition in their mock company. Just for fun, let's imagine this call was scheduled to start at 4:00pm. Chaos? - oh yes, utter.

Now you can remove yourself from your imagination and allow me to shock you with the truth that this was my reality on Saturday. It was utter chaos... parents were coming in to pick up their kids and there was me, anchored on the corner of our kitchen table with my laptop and headphones on barking out instructions to my team for how much of each product we should produce. I think I just needed the white robe and fuzzy slippers.

It was one of those moments where we really questioned our ability to manage life... did we not forsee that as the perfect storm? Anyway, thanks for letting me share.....

Don't Blink

There is a great country music song out right now called, "Don't Blink." It relays the story of a man turning 100 who talks about 100 years going faster than you think. We write each chapter of our life, but before we know it the chapter is completed and we're on to the next one.

-- Tomorrow, my daughter turns 8 and is getting her ears pierced. How did that happen?
-- A couple weeks ago, my boys turned 11 & started 5th grade. Huh?
-- It just hit me that next year is my 20th high school reunion. Say what?
-- I saw Desmond Howard doing a sideline report at a football game and they said he won the Heisman Trophy in 1991 - 16 years ago. No Way! I remember his punt return against Ohio State (I think) where he scored and then did the Heisman pose - that return sealed up the trophy for him. I literally remember it... that could not have been 16 years ago!
-- I remember my first kiss with my wife which was about 19 years and 60 pounds ago. Say it ain't so Joe.
-- I remember falling out of a car, holding on to the handle while my butt scraped along the road and my brother was yelling, "Let GO!" That was over 30 years ago. What? Is this a joke?
-- I remeber the shuttle exploding, Reagan getting shot, the Berlin Wall coming down, OJ (the first saga), hurricanes, and the Twin Towers coming down -- could that really have been 6 years ago?

My point? It's been a great run, but I realize now that I must run with my head back and my eyes open through life taking in everything God has to offer me through it. I don't want to blink and miss any of it.

Goal = Fun?

Is a primary goal in life to have fun? I'm not asking that as a rhetorical question or as a condescending question.... I'm asking it as a real question.

I've been challenging my kids recently that as they pray to just try not to use the word, "fun." This is primarily because their prayers tend to go something like this: "God, thank you for letting us have a fun day and I ask that we have fun tonight and fun tomorrow in school." Now, that is a sweet prayer, but it seems like the focus is too much on having fun. I know they are kids, but I'd rather hear things like, "Thank you God for giving me joy even though today was tough" or "God, please help me love other kids at school" or things like that.

I was reminded of this as I drove into work this morning. K102 was asking people to call in to share stories of teachers that have had the biggest impact on their life. One lady called in and, I swear, in about 30 seconds used the word "fun" 8 times. It went something like this (very paraphrased), "My favorite teacher was Mr. Johnson because he made science fun; it was so fun to go to his class because it was fun. Other teachers and classes weren't fun, but my friends and I always had fun in Mr. Johnson's class. That's why he is my favorite teacher." Now, I'm not bashing Mr. Johnson - he sounds great and I'm sure the fun led to more engagement which led to more learning. My point is that, for this gal, her favorite teacher was the one that she had the most fun with.

Does anyone else struggle with thinking fun is a main goal of our life? Don't get me wrong, I love to have fun... I enjoy laughter and joking around more than about anything. But I think there is a difference between aiming at "fun" and aiming at "joy." There can be joy in learning (which isn't always fun) or joy in building relationships, helping someone overcome adversity, rolling up your sleeves and digging in, physical labor, etc. Many of these aren't always fun, but they bring a deep sense of joy. I believe each of us has a purpose and fulfillment of that purpose (or movement toward that purpose) should be our goal which will bring us joy in feeling we are doing what we are made to do. But its not always fun. I think just having "fun" can be our shadow mission (credit John Ortberg) rather than our real mission.

Competitive Edge

So last night our MBA team (Team Baldwin) met on-line to make decisions regarding our mock company for the upcoming round (year) of competition. We had to make decisions on existing and new products in different (and changing) segments including Research & Development, pricing, marketing/advertising, and production as well as investments in future production, automation, employee development/training/recruiting, etc. There are a ton of different things to try out. We could have probably stopped after about an hour and would have been "fine."

I think one of the things that can make me an effective problem solver is that "fine" isn't good enough for me. I ascribe to Jim Collins believe that we don't have great businesses/schools/churches, etc, because we have good ones. It is this desire to move from good to great that drives me on. However, when applied to unnecessary situations, this can lead to the annoyance of others. Now, my team didn't seem annoyed with me, but they potentially could have been when I kept on about how I'm unhappy with our projected cash flow, then our projected ROE, then the fact we had to lay people off, then considering what the competition is doing, then tying back to our strategy. If you are reading this team, thanks for your patience.

I don't know if I learned anything about leadership here, but it did affirm that thinking to this depth is fine as long as vision is cast to show the value and potential impact of it. In the case of a simulated MBA program, the value and potential impact were limited so the rigor probably wasn't necessary.... however, if this really was a company I was running (or a church I held a leaderhip position in), this rigor (and more) would be critical - but it needs to accompany vision.

FUZE

I'm staring at an empty glass bottle called "FUZE: Healthy Infuzions." This cranberry/raspberry drink was provided by one of the New Hope staffers as she did the weekly devotion. I've kept it on my desk as a reminder.

Early this morning (6:15am) as I was setting up my computer, I noticed the irony of something marketed as infusing, while at the same time on the label emphasizing that it is "slenderizing." I started thinking how can anything both infuse me with something as well as slenderize me? It seems that even though we are putting something into us (which by definition makes us bigger), the right things that are infused can have a slenderizing effect.

What are the "right" things in our lives? What things do we do that at first glance occupy our time, but when looking deeper actually create time, joy, peace, etc? This is similar to the cash flow concept from yesterday. Just like we need to make sure profits are grounded in positive cash flow, we need to make sure we have infusions into our life (that take our time) that actually have a slenderizing effect on who we are.

Cash flow lifeblood

I just finished another 19 hours in 2-day residency for my MBA program; the topic is financial management and decision-making. One of the ringing truths from the residency was how important cash flow is to any organization. One might think that profit alone is the driver of long-term sucess... well, one can have profit without having positive cash flow which can ultimately have negative impact and even cause bankruptcy.

I look at this in terms of my leadership and my life journey. If you've been reading these for a while (or otherwise know me), you realize that I'm keeping pretty busy with good things (church, family, MBA, work, friendships, etc). The concept of "net income" without "cashflow" seems to apply to my life right now. Am I "making profit" each year by growing my relationships, education, faith, etc, but lacking in "cashflow" which might be my time for myself, reflection, and more fun? I might need to take a look at my life income statement and see where my "profits" are coming from.... are they good profits (i.e. coming from cash flow)?

Another interesting way to look at this (which I won't bore you with) is the concept of "working capital"... one can have a lot of surplus, but the ability to liquidate is based on the relationship b between short-term assets & short-term liabilities (not the long-term). An organization (Steve Fredlund Journey, Inc.) needs to have a good relationship with working capital to be able to adjust to changing needs, environment, or competition.

Not sure if this makes any sense... I need to pare it out a bit. Later...

Shower ZZZs

I love long showers.

I think it is related to my love of just being on thewater in a boat - fish are optional, but being on and around water is something that rejuvenates me. During my long showers I sometimes plan the day, sometimes pray, sometimes let the water drain my tension away, sometimes imagine my sinful self and how God washes the dirt off of me, sometimes I rehearse a talk/speech/skit I will be giving, and sometimes I think I fall asleep. I don't know if I literally fall asleep, but the water puts me in such a relaxed place that I think it has the same effect.

I was reminded about all of this as my 7-year old daughter told me this morning,"Remember when I fell asleep in the shower?" My daughter and one of my sons (along with me) love long showers. A couple years ago, my daughter was taking a long shower and I went to check on her. I called her name, but no answer. When I opened the shower door, there she was laying on the floor of the shower, mostly covering the drain, sound asleep with the water about 1/2 inch deep. Aside from the natural parent"scared" stuff, I didn't know what to think. "How tired must she be?" or "Is she OK?" At the end of day, I think she's just like me.

For me, there is something about the water. Perhaps I need a water bed...... T?

Balance applied

It's nearly 1:00am and I just finished my first of two nights trying to compete 3 weeks worth of MBA homework (last week and 2 courses for this week). My plan tonight was to work until about 4:00, get home shortly after 5:00, and then hide out somewhere to pound out some of the MBA homework.

This is not a good example of a balanced day.

As it was, I worked a bit later, until about 4:30. I then encountered a struggled colleague who I talked to for about 30 minutes in the back parking lot. Interestingly, I bet I've talked nearly 20 people off the perverbial "edge" in their life over the past couple of years. I'm not sure what it is that invites people to share with me their deepest concerns, anxieties, and frustrations, but I'm honored to be a listening ear and hopefully help them sort through some of that. Anyway, leaving downtown Minneapolis to go north at 5:00pm is not as fine as it might sound... I didn't get home until about 6:30. Then we had a great family dinner followed by about 40 minutes of Game Cube (me and my 7-year old daughter against my twin 11 year old boys).... my daughter and I got smoked! Then I checked some email, chatted with my wife, flipped on ESPNews to find out that the player from Buffalo might walk again, and before I knew it I was looking at 8:30pm.

I lost about 3.5 hours from what I thought would be homework & studying, but I gained 3.5 hours of relationship-building and family time. I'm grateful that even through these difficult seasons, I'm able to retain balance in life. Of course, here I sit at 1:00am needing to get up about 5:30 or 6:00, but my family knows they are a priority - more important that sleep I reckon.

I generally run with a pretty high octane motor, but there are times when the motor needs to run even a bit faster.... the past week and the week to come are examples of that. Through it all I am so grateful to have a family, friends, co-workers, mentor, and others who understand (at least in part) what makes me tick and love me anyway.

Snizzle...

Now that grades are mostly in for my last MBA course, I think it is safe to write about the challenge my classmates gave me and my ability to come through. Last Thursday I was in Pittsburgh but had to do my on-line presentation via the internet. Simultaneously to watching and participating in the presentations, a few of us had an open SKYPE conversation going as well. Right before I did my piece, I was challenged to work in the word "snizzle" into the presentation. I said that I had no idea what that mean and my co-learner said that was the point.

I took the challenge.

About 1/2 way through my part, I said something like, "creating a strategic plan can be done through a leader having a Mount Sinai type of experience where they descend from the mountain and state, here is the plan. However, a leader can create a lot more ownership and snizzle by going through a process involving more people..." Based on the SKYPE conversation that I went back and read when I was done, I think I earned the respect of my colleagues.

Do I have a point with this one? Nah... just enjoy life, take a challenge now and again, and live large with joy. Later...

Tasered

Last night capped off an exhausting stretch starting last Wednesday which included a bunch of work, a trip to Pittsburgh, an MBA project & presentation, church annual meeting / vision night, launch of a 3rd service & new Sunday morning schedule, some difficult meetings, and finally an MBA class (which mercifully only lasted 3 of the planned 4 hours) last night.

Since the class was done early and I was home by 10:00pm, I thought... cool, I can get some more done. As I started pulling out my laptop I got a brutal case of the chills. My teeth were literally chattering - I felt frozen. I've never been tasered, and I'm assuming you don't feel cold, but it felt like I just got zapped; out of the blue. I put my stuff away and started the quest for as many blankets as possible. If I was sick, I didn't want to get my wife sick and my daughter had crawled into bed with her, so I opted for my daughter's bed. This added to my joy: a 5-foot bed with a footboard is not very exciting for a 6-foot guy who likes to stretch out. At any rate, it was a long night of sweating & chills; I was able to sleep in (for me) and feel somewhat OK this morning.

My point? I think our bodies & minds do have limits and when we hit those limits we get tasered to recognize it and slow 'er down.

Marshmallow what?

Today (Sunday) culminated a crazy past week. We decided to spend the afternoon taking a Sabbath (now, there's an idea). We enjoyed a great lunch together, I went fishing for a couple of hours, then me and the kids had a campfire (while my beautiful bride worked on some stuff for school - yes, she broke her Sabbath). Anyway, the kids and I were killing two birds with one stone - burning up some wood from a clubhouse we had torn down and also enjoying the campfire and roasting marshmallows.

The kids were going to make s'mores, but realized we were out of graham crackers. They got the idea to instead just stick a piece of chocolate inside the marshmallow and then roast them together. After modifying the approach a few times, we fine tuned how to make this quite a tasty treat with the right "meltage" on the chocolate with the right consistency on the marshmallow. We decided the fine-tuned final product was worthy of a name. We tried several out and landed on "Marshmallow Poopers." If you do this right and see the end product, you, too, will realize this is an appropriate name. They taste terrific and I think the name is something that could catch on.

My kids told me to blog on this so we have a record that we thought of this first when this becomes a national craze. The only application of this for the rest of my life is that sometimes we don't have something we think we need and we can decide to scrap our plans... however, with a little ingenuity, trial and error, and persistence, the outcome can be better than even we had everything we thought we needed. I honestly think that even if there are graham crackers and I'm ever offered a s'more, I will probably say, "No thanks, but I'd love a marshmallow pooper!"

Passion / football

I was picking up a few things at the hotel gift shop before I left and a couple of people were talking about football. This hotel worker comes in and starts talking about the Steelers and how (of course) they are gonna be "awesome." One of the other guys says he is a Patriots fan. Without hesitation, the Steelers fan says, "Yeah, but they gotta come into our house on December 9th." I was amazed. I asked him, "Do you have the entire Steelers schedule memorized?" Quickly he said, "Oh yeah, the day the schedule came out."

I love passion in people. We can debate all we want about what we have passion in, but I'm so intrigued by people with passion... I love it. I've had a sign my wife bought me several years ago that is above my bathroom door. When I leave the bathroom I hit it like the Notre Dame Fighting Irish hit their sign above the locker room door when they leave. The Notre Dame sign says, "Play like a champion today." My sign says, "Got Passion?"

Now, I'm sure my brother will comment since he thinks he's not a sports fan (close caption to you: Hockey is a sport!). I'm sure my co-worker will comment on this who, for reasons I'll never understand, is in love with all teams from Chicago and the Buffalo Bills (you know who you are my Amish brother).

We (or at least I) are drawn to passion... it stirs something up deep inside of me that encourages me to be passionate. It can create conflict living out loud like that, but it makes me feel alive.

Pitts Cloud 2

Ok, Ok, I wasn't going to make you read too much today, but its getting a little ridiculous how much this leadership revoluation in me is coming up. You know how sometimes you hear or learn a new word and all the sudden you feel like you are hearing that word all the time? This is how I have felt since the flight yesterday... every where I turn I'm thinking about the two elements of leadership that Cloud talked about and my integration (integrity) of both of those pieces into my own leadership development.

I'm at a conference but have a little time here until the next session starts (I know, I'm not networking because I'm sneaking back to my room to prepare for the final project presentation for my current MBA course - need to prepare to do the presentation and for the technology to work). Anyway, I have a few minutes and here is what I've seen since the last blog:
1) Took a shower and there were two huge shower heads. I've never seen that before and let me tell ya, it was aweseome! Anyway, I kept looking at them as how having both parts of leadership is so much better than just one of them.
2) I registered for the conference to find that the theme of the conference is, "Bridging Heritage with Innovation" which hopefully will describe my heritage as a leader bridging over into the brave new world of transformational leadership.
3) I opened up the padfolio they give us (geeky) and inside is a flyer from a financial company offering training programs to promote growth. The one word title of the flyer? "Integrity"

Just thought you'd want to know...

Pittsburgh Cloud

As some of you know from the blogs and/or conversations, I feel I am at a critical juncture in my leadership development and training. For 15 years, my focus has been on the technical; the results; the achieving; the innovating; the systems. As I have been asked (and honored) to serve as Executive Pastor, I believe a large piece of that is because I can bring order to things that are a bit chaotic or, at minimum, less effective than they could be. I also feel I bring leadership that can motivate people to work to their full potential for both their own sake as well as the good of the mission of the organization. I believe I add ability to think strategically; to help an organization move from "vision" to "reality" (credit Bill Hybels).

These strengths are very helpful, but by themselves they allow for strong management of systems and processes. However, to move from management to true transformational leadership, there needs to be much more emphasis on building trust and respect through building relationships. I love people; I love spending one-on-one time with people and hearing their stories and dreams; I love learning from people and helping give insight to others. However, unless I am intentional, I have a tendency to take relationships for granted in my desire to get the work done. I am learning (at times the hard way) the true value of relationship-building (yes, sometimes it takes 2x4s to the head).

This brings me to my title for today. I spent about 1/2 of my flight to Pittsburgh yesterday reading Henry Cloud's book, "Integrity" which I did not expect would be another leadership lesson in building relationships. In the 40 pages or so I got through, Cloud beat me over the head about how integrity is really "wholeness" and how both results and people matter in the wholeness of leadership. Now, I'll need to re-read this later to see if this was even Cloud's key point, but it was the point I took away and needed to hear. For the sake of sparing you additional reading, I'll cut it short there.

As I pondered the past couple days of leadership development (voluntary and involuntary), I was in the shuttle from the airport to the hotel and we went from sort of a regular looking area of the city, under an overpass, and came out the otherside into a whoa! There was the river, the new stadiums, the construction for an under-river tunnel. It was like a whole new world. Almost immediately I started thanking God for putting into my head how the experience of going from regular city to this whole new world is like the transformation of my leadership will be like if I really embrace and apply the leadership lessons I'm learning.

I believe I have the potential to be the kind of leader God is calling me to be. The question is, do I have the humility and courage to change how I do leadership? I am so thankful for a pastor, a boss, a former boss, a mentor, a small group, friends, colleagues, and others who encourage me along the way, but also challenge me in this area. I'm thankful that God has not disqualified me from His calling simply because of my ineptitude, but that He is patient with me as I get hit by leadership 2x4s. I'm thankful that I'm transitioning from learning how to duck, to instead figuring out why the 2x4s are being swung. I'm thankful that I have a desire to be transformed in my heart and my leadership. I'm thankful that my heart passion is to do whatever I need to do to partner with God in the redemption, restoration, and transformation of the people of Isanti County and beyond. I'm thankful for people like you who have linked arms together to see lives transformed for this world and the next. Let's roll!

Texas Hold 'em

I was playing Texas Hold 'em this evening with my three kids (recently turned 11-year old twin boys and my nearly 8-year old daughter). This is a continuation of a game we started a few days ago and in which I'm basically cleaning house... I bluffed my way through a huge pot so I'm not dominating those twerps.

My daughter knows how to check, call, raise, and play her cards but she has not yet mastered the "poker face." OK, mastered isn't even the right word.... my daughter has no clue about how to keep a poker face. In the last hand we played tonight, there was one more card to come up (the "River") and before it was flipped, she said, "I hope I get the card I need!" as she called her brother's "all-in" bet. When the river was flipped she yelled, "Yes!" and started doing a little dance. Based on what was showing, it was obvious that she had drawn into a 5-card straight. She raised the pot significantly... my one son was already all-in, so this was a side pot. My other son had folded earlier and I just had a pair so I folded like a cheap tent.

As Annie pridefully showed her cards, she said, "I have a straight." I said, "Really... where is it?" She answered, "Ace, Two, Three, Four!" I said, "Honey, you need to have 5 in a row." Her response was to say, "I'm so dumb" and start banging her head down on the table. My all-in son quickly realized that although he didn't have squat, his squat beat his sister's squat, and he was able to stay in the game and improve his position.

I think I need to start playing with them for real money.

Our at bat

Our family went to the Twins game on Saturday (a 6-4 win!) but one thing that struck me more deeply than it had before is how each person on the team is asked to fill a specific role; and sometimes a different role depending on the specific situation. As each person comes up to bat, the manager of the team instructs them on what they should to do during their at-bat. Usually, the batter is just asked to try to reach base using their strengths and the hitting coaching they have received specifically for their style -- that is to simply operate in their strengths to hit the ball as hard and as far as possible.

In other situations, they may be asked to bunt or otherwise advance the runner -- that is to sacrifice themselves for the advancement of the other runners to the betterment of the team. What is interesting about this is that when someone successfully sacrifices themselves to advance the other runners, they are greeted when they return to the dugout with the same enthusiasm as when someone gets a base hit.... because they've done their job and improved the chances of their team winning.

Being a good teammate demands putting on different hats at different times; sometimes we swing for the fences, sometimes we coax a walk, sometimes we allow ourselves to be hit by a pitch, sometimes we sacrifice for others, etc. Leadership of a team requires casting a great enough vision that the members of the team are willing to do what it takes, even at the sacrifice of their own glory or batting average, in order to achieve the goal of winning the game and ultimately the championship.

I love this analogy and could go on and on - about how sometimes we get up to bat and strike out without even swinging. I want to make sure I approach every at bat the way my manager wants me to and I don't have a called third strike get past me without taking a cut.

Jumpin' Bass

My two sons and I went out late tonight lookin' for some late night bass action and to try out some cheap new lights we bought for the boat. At the end of the night we were driving into the boat landing and fish were once again jumping all around us. We decided to pull into the shallows and try to land one of those bad boys. I was using a surface spinner; casting in deep and reeling fast to keep the lure at the surface. Five or six times a bass jumped out of the water going after the lure but missed or grabbed the lure but didn't get hooked. Talk about frustrating... we finally had the fish interested in what we had to offer, but they were apparently fish with poor mouth-eye coordination.

I feel like God is putting out his truth like a lure for me to grab on to and I keep jumping for the truth but it sometimes eludes me. I feel like I have a decent grasp of God and His truth, but there are elements I keep flopping around after but can't seem to clamp down on. For example: How do I reconcile the fact that "God is love" with the fact that most of the people who have ever lived in history will spend eternity separated from Him based on the traditional Christian view of salvation? Don't get me wrong, in my head I understand that God loved us so much that He paved the way for us to spend eternity with Him.... however, at the end of the day, most people will spend eternity in hell (whatever that is). How is that a loving God?

I'm not bringing this up to challenge theology, but to talk about how I flounder sometimes. I wonder if God ever gets frustrated with my inability to latch on to the truth in the same way I get frustrated with uncoordinated bass.

Lunches...

Today is August 29th.... my next free date for lunch at Thrivent is September 26th. I need to caveat this with the fact that I only work 3 days/week and I'll be out of town a couple of days next week for that conference. Even so, I find it interesting that my lunches are so full these days... these lunches cover the spectrum of walking across the room to build relationships, others seeking lunch with me as a mentor, re-connecting with former co-workers, and just lunch with friends.

One of my greatest ongoing leadership lessons is the power of relationship. It's not always convenient to "do lunch" with people, but I have learned to love making time for this. Interestingly, this lesson is being learned primarily in my church role, but the greatest changes in lunchtime behavior are occuring in my corporate job. I'm hoping I start leveraging the power of lunches in building relationships during my days on the clock at church -- if you are reading this and want to do lunch on a Monday or Tuesday, let me know... I love doing it, but might need a push. If you don't have time for lunch... how 'bout a soda?

Fish Skunk

Last night I went fishing in the rain with one of my sons. For the first time the entire year we were totally skunked... we had some bites and lost some worms, but literally caught 0 fish. After a while we went and tracked down where the eagle was landing in the tree and we ended up anchoring the boat about 30 yards from where he sat up in the branch -- he would fly in and out of that tree... it was very cool.

The frustrating part is that fish were jumping all around us and we couldn't catch any of them. At one point a very large fish (likely a bass) jumped about 5 feet from the boat. We tried everything we had... casting, trolling, worms on the bottom, bobber fishing, lindy rigs, etc.

It made me think of leadership and some of the stuff I'm going through right now. I feel like I'm in the perfect fishing spot and using everything I can think of from my tackle box, but results still aren't what I'm hoping for. There are times I feel like I'm doing all I know to do (fishing styles) but my communication or leadership is ineffective (fish just swim by uninterested in what I have to say). There must be something about my leadership (fishing tactics) in certain situations that needs to be adjusted. I'm thankful for other leaders, people, conferences, etc, which challenge how I do leadership to help me be more effective; there also is no substitute for experience... sometimes just learning on the fly.

Speaking of "fly" - maybe I should learn fly fishing if all of these fish are jumping on the surface (presumably to grab bugs).

Poker & Review

Last Friday night I played some low-stakes Texas Hold 'em with about 15 other folks, mostly from Thrivent. For about the first hour or two, I was doing great... I was likely the chip leader at my table of 6 or 7 people. But then the luck turned and I was playing overly aggressive to try to knock some people out and ended up having my stacks disappear and ultimately being one of the first to be eliminated. I remember thinking, "What just happened?"

Yesterday I had my annual review at church. One of the things I need to keep watch on is the pace with which I try to create systems, enhance programs, and start new things. Although we want continuous improvement and desire transformation through our ministry, we also want to make sure things happen on God's timing and not ours. We certainly want to keep up with the wave God is moving on , but we don't want to be out front of what He's doing. I can be like a buckin' bronco trying to leave the gate, but I need to make sure I don't let the gate open too early or I don't jump over the closed gate.

Yeah, there is a theme here. I get it... "Type A"... "Driver"... Perhaps there needs to be some new terms to describe this personality type: "BB (Buckin' Bronco)" or "All-in". Being like this sure helps a lot of stuff get done, but does require some additional attention and accountability (which I have in my pastor/boss, my awesome mentor, and my wife). I never thought I'd be comparing my annual review to a Texas Hold 'em game....

Dead battery

I was able to get out on the lake a bit on Friday afternoon. Although I went to the same lake (Goose), I travelled a bit further down the lake. In doing so, I was trolling with a sucker minnow and was able to nail a small northern (20") which was cool. What wasn't cool was that as I trolled my way down the lake, my trolling motor (the only motor I have on the boat) started loosing its oomph. Realizing I hadn't re-charged the battery recently and it was going dead, I quickly turned around and started going back into the wind toward the landing. The trolling motor on a dying battery was no match for the wind and waves; the best the motor could do was hold its ground, but then started losing ground to the wind.

So, I started rowing the 16' Lund against the wind; I made continual progress but it was a long haul and I stopped a couple times, threw down the anchor and fished while recouping my strength. This story is eerily similar to an earlier blog entry; twice is enough to row across a lake in a given fishing season.

Ironically, although this is a story about the ramifications of a dead battery, the time I spent on the lake (and this entire story) was the process of recharging my personal batteries. If you've been reading my blog, you realize that fishing is the one thing I've found that recharges my battery. When I'm not able to recharge I end up with no power to drive into the wind and end up using my own strength to power through situations.

What charges your batteries? Trust me, the time and effort taken to charge our batteries is a small price to pay compared to the struggle and pain that come when the battery goes dead.

Haircut

As many of you know, I can be as frugal as they come on some things and yesterday was one of those examples where my frugality was my downfall. I was working in Minneapolis and ran out over lunch to get my haircut (because skyway prices give me sticker shock). I thought I would try a neighborhood where I don't normally go to see what I could find and meet some new people (Walking Across the Room).

As I was driving I saw a sign for $6.00 haircuts.... GENIUS!!!! So I found a spot to park on the street and went in; it was then I realized that this was a haircutting school (red flag #1). As I was paying (in advance) I was given a sheet of paper for chair #17 with Jeremy. I found chair #17 and shortly Jeremy came up and started asking me what I was looking for. About a minute into what would be my 50 minute haircut, his manager (I assume) reminded him to put his smock on (red flag #2). I also saw in one chair how an instructor (I assume) was pointing to a guys hair and trying to explain how to make sideburns straight (red flag #3).

Anyway, Jeremy was a nice enough guy and the 50 minutes was spent as a study in human behavior and interaction. I watched as one younger guy stood in front of a mirror the entire 50 minutes with a trimmer working on fine-tuning his gotee. The guy cutting the hair of an elderly gentleman across from me kept calling people over to look at something on the back of the guys head -- they were fighting being audible with their laughter. I could tell who was just there at the school to pass time or whatever; and I could tell who was being serious about trying to learn to cut hair. It was very, very interesting.

As for my hair cut, let me sum it up in two questions/statements from my loving wife:
1) "Did you get your hair cut?" (this is funny when you consider that I usually allow my hair to get way to bushy and then cut it way too short -- never typically a question but obvious)
2) From this morning, "You are going to go get your hair cut today, right?"

I guess I'll chalk the $6 up as a Walk Across the Room toll in trying to meet new people...

Rob Bell - Rich

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZFFxDcSfeA

Ever not feeling rich, check out the above video from Rob Bell (a bit over one minute); for those of you without the ability to run the video:
- 92% of people do not have cars
- 1,000,000,000 people do not have access to clean water
- 800,000,000 people live on less than $1 per day (300,000,000 of them are kids)

Rob has a way of making us realize that these numbers each represent an individual life. I don't know what this does to you and I don't believe it is everyone's holy discontent, but numbers like this are unacceptable to me. I continue to be convinced that we don't have a global problem with lack of food/wealth, but instead we have a distribution problem.

I don't want us to all walk around feeling guilty; but I do want us to walk around without our heads in the ground. Let's drink clean water & eat well, but realize how blessed we are.

Live Life Large

I believe that God calls us to live life large; to not shrink back; to do what we were designed to do with reckless abandon. However, the achiever & driver in me often contort that to simply mean go, do, be, achieve, push, prod, lead, etc. I believe those are things I'm designed to do, but I also think each of us were designed for times of pure refreshing which was modelled for me yesterday by my daughter.

My wife & I were looking for her; yelling her name both inside and outside with no response. Finally, my wife went to the back yard and saw her swinging on the swing with her iPod on and her eyes closed. My wife was able to get her attention before I ever saw her, but I can envision the picture. Eyes closed; legs pumping; head back; hair blowing in the wind; mouth singing away or smiling. Yeah... that's living life large.

There are times I do it, but I need to find more time to pump my legs on the swing, put on the iPod, and let me hair blow in the breeze. We probably all do.

Strength mourning

I had an hour long meeting with my mentor this morning and it was one of those conversations that I wish I could just bottle and bring out whenever I needed. Like great mentors do, his focus was asking questions and then using his wisdom & insight to help me reach my own conclusions regarding various aspects of my life. This morning we were discussing my juggling of my two different jobs as well as my MBA program and personal life. As we discussed the corporate role and how I've been trying to understand why I'm struggling with achieving the same level of passion I used to have, we had a tremendous breakthrough. I've been assuming the passion issue was a result of having such strong passion for my church role as well as my desire to get in the battle of world poverty and HIV/AIDS. However, what this wise council helped me get to was the realization that of my 5 strengths (based on the Strengthsfinder), the ones that I'm most wired to do are the Strategic & Achiever. He helped me understand that for the past several years at Thrivent I've been in roles that have leveraged these two key strengths and my move to my current position (which allowed me to do more church work) utilizes my other strengths, but my use of Strategic & Achiever have dropped. Basically, my Thrivent issues are not necessarily around my passion for ministry; but around the Thrivent role itself. I need to look for opportunity to re-ignite the position requirement for strategy and the sense of achievement rather than management.

This is tough to explain in journal-language, but this is the kind of breakthrough that can change paradigms and lead to much better career & life decisions. I would have paid hundreds of dollars for this insight (but please don't tell him that!).

Blog split

Hey gang... I've decided based on feedback to create a second blog and split my purposes. This blog will continue to serve as my personal journey (goofy insights, struggles, etc). For those more interested in my perspectives and updates specifically related to my role as Executive Pastor of New Hope Community Church, I would welcome you to check out stevefredlundxp.blogspot.com.

The personal blog (this one) will continue to have posts each weekday (at least intended) and the xp blog will likely have updates twice/week. Thanks to those of you for your valuable feedback; I think this is a good solution.

As far as my personal journey goes, I just finished a stint of speaking two weeks in a row and a total of 3 of the last 5 weeks. I guess it might be a titch easier if it was part of my job, but its quite difficult when it is a total above & beyond kind of thing. Yesterday I felt great about the material but just never really at ease; typically when I have more of my message pre-planned (scripted), I feel less at ease... that was the case yesterday. Interestingly, my wife commented that I said "OK" about a million times and I never even realized that. I think there is a direct link between my "at ease-ness" and my using filler words (OK, Aaah, etc).

Why is it that I feel less at ease talking about something the more I have prepared? I think my strength area in communication is talking from the heart and the more I prepare (even though the preparations are from the heart) the more uncomfortable communicating I feel. Is this a case of less is more?

Weekend hiatus

Hey all... I have decided that for now I will only blog on weekdays. This is not for lack of strange insights & happenings, but instead based on the activity of readers (I know some of ya read the blog on the weekends, but there is a pretty dramatic dropoff in activity) and off-line feedback from some of you that you like to read the entries but get behind pretty quickly (hopefully the 5 entries / week will allow you to catch up). I'll catch y'all on Monday - thanks for your encouraging words and fun responses (both on & off-line).

Dalbo Sausage

Ok, so just a few minutes ago I went down to grab a quick breakfast in our cafeteria and grabbed a couple of sausage patties. When I went to pay, I was setting my stuff down and I accidentally flipped open the lid of my stirofoam container and one of the sausage patties dropped to the floor. Without even thinking, I reached down, grabbed it, and threw it back into the container. The cashier was like, "You can grab a new one" and I said, "Oh, no, that's fine." She said, "Are you sure?" (her tone was a little concerning as it seemed to imply the floors never get washed). I said, "Heck ya... makes me stronger."

The rest of the trip back to my cubicle I was thinking, "I am soooo Dalbo." Dalbo, for those of you who don't know, is a town of about 3 houses where I lived from about age 1 to 7 or so. This is not a slam on Dalbo, but when I see pictures of my grubbiness from when we lived there and bring up memories of eating dirt, etc, the term seemed to fit.

I've struggled in the past of feeling unworthy for leadership positions I've been asked to take primarily because I still have this feeling that I'm just a dork from Dalbo. Several people have helped me realize that my Dalbo-ness is not my identity nor would it ever restrict what God can do through me. I believe this is true; but this morning I was reminded that you can take the guy out of Dalbo, but you can't take Dalbo out of the guy.

Wacky Cat

I think our cat is clinically insane. Is that possible? Or perhaps our cat has witnessed our goofy family and has conformed itself to our wackiness. Is that possible?

Our cat's name official name is "Diet Dr. Thunder Mifflin this is Pam Pam", which seems unrelated until you realize that our poor cat has been subjected to the bizarreness of our family since 6 weeks old including being given such an unfortunate name. The good news is that we typically go with "Thunder." Anyway, I believe Thunder has been observing us and now thinks he is human. He will sit in my lazyboy on his butt with his legs flat in front of him and his arms to his sides - that seems odd to me. He will also jump around as if someone (or something) is after him... which it is not. He will lay on top of the TV trying to catch the baseball or other things as they go off the edge of the screen. He will lay on his back with his head tilted way back in the off chance that someone will come by to rub his neck & belly; at which point he'll attack them. He's quite odd.

It makes me think a couple of things: 1) We are poor role models as I think he has taken on the personality of the family and 2) I wish I were more like him in that I didn't care what people thought so much. My thought here, of course, is assuming that Thunder doesn't care what we think - which I think is a safe assumption.

Our cat is wacky, but there is something enjoyable about his freedom to be himself; but also something disturbing about how his wackiness is representative of our family.

$30 Battle Fee

As my wife & I have continued to be convicted about getting in the battle against global poverty and HIV/AIDS, we made a decision to step up our involvement a little bit. We’ve been sponsoring a child through World Vision for a few years, but just decided that we were going to modify a family tradition to allow us to engage in the battle a bit more.

This past year we have had Thursday nights be our “Office & Pizza” night where we order pizza and watch “The Office.” We are modifying that night slightly so that we no longer order pizza, but instead have something simple. The bill typically ends up being $25 for the pizza, wings, breadsticks, and tip. We’ve justified this over the year as a small investment in our family, but with this new conviction we felt we could still keep the “tradition” without the expense. A World Vision sponsorship is $30/month so what we decided is that we would only order pizza on the 5th Thursday of a month (if there was one) and use the other 4 nights to instead sponsor a World Vision child – allowing us to sponsor a total of 5; symbolically representing one for each of us.

We had a great family meeting about this and although it was tough for them at first, our kids understood and accepted how this can have more significant impact. About 30 minutes later my 7-year old daughter walks up to me with a first full of 1 and 5 dollar bills… totaling $30. She said she wanted to pay for the first month for one child. This is money she had been saving for an American Doll (I think that’s the name of them). I started crying… man that was a powerful moment on so many levels.

These are small steps… but we finally feel we are engaging in the battle rather than just talking about engaging.