Relationship Evangelism

I'm listening to a book on tape from a famous leader, pastor, and author. He is talking about evangelism and how important it is for us to reach out to people in a way that builds relationships; he is talking about how evangelism is not about beating people over the heads with Bibles or always having to talk of spiritual matters, but instead just getting to know them and their story. It's about finding common interests and building the relationship from those.

I agree that relationships are at the core of evangelism; that relationship is required in order to come alongside someone who is struggling or to be able to speak truth into their life. The piece I struggle with in all of evangelism is that it always feels like building relationship has to have an alterior motive. If I build relationships with my neighbors for the sake of one day evangelizing to them, am I "tricking" them into becoming my friends - because I have a hidden agenda? I'm not saying that relationship evangelsim is wrong, but it just sometimes feels like we are on this hidden mission trying to build relationships in a stealth way because under the surface some day we are going to lay it on them when they are least expecting it.

I desire to love people simply because they are people and Jesus taught me to love people. I desire to serve people for the same reason. I desire to build relationships with people because we all need relationships and in building a friendship I am unconditionally loving them, intentionally serving them, and being obedient to live the way of life Jesus calls me to.

Now, as with any other healthy relationship, if a need arises for that person that I can help with, I need to do what I can. If I feel there is some spiritual element to that assistance then I need to share that with this person and not shy away from it. Jesus also doesn't call us to hide the fact that we are following His way, so we don't need to pretend we don't love God or care about His church; we don't need to down-play our faith - instead we should let our light shine and pour salt all over this world. I believe God will give opportunity to sow seeds of our faith in His time.

The rub is that if we are followers of Christ and believe that His sacrifice was for our eternal salvation, then we get nervous for those people we know that haven't accepted the gift and will need to take the hit themselves. This develops a sense of urgency which makes building relationships and waiting for opportunities much harder to do; its hard to be patient when so much is on the line.

Evangelism is a dynamic animal that I've not yet fully reconciled; there are a few of the aspects that seem to be truth but yet contradict each other. Where I am at right now is here:

- I will build relationships because I love living in community
- I will enjoy relationships with and accept those who are not the same as me
- I will not shy away from my faith, but not make it relationship motive
- I will trust that God through the Holy Spirit will direct me into the right discussions at the right time and give me the strength to say what needs to be said when it needs to be said
- I'll keep wrestling with God for understanding as I travel along my journey